She enjoy what I did last night- Part-1

Dear friends, I have never before tried to write a story and almost I decided otherwise but after a lot of consideration I am going to narrate how in the world this happened. My name is Abdullah (I have to unfortunately change my name and others names for our privacy and security) and I am from Quetta Pakistan. I am now 49 years old but what happened about 30 something years ago is still so clear in my mind that as if it was yesterday. I used to go to a school called Yazdan Khan High School at Alamdar Road and lived in Sayeed Abad. We were two brothers and two sisters. I was the elder and after me was Khadijah (I have to change her name too because she is married now) she was just one year younger to me. I don’t want to write about my other sister and brother because it really does not relate to them but they will remain silent in the 

She enjoy what I did last night- Part-1

story. We lived a normal family life and things went smoothly as it has to. There was no TVs in those days with us and no internet. We used to have radio and dad used to hear BBC but I used to hear always Urdu film songs and sometime Delhi’s Urdu service for Hindi songs. I loved to hear Nayyara Noor, Lata Mangeshkar, and Mehdi Hasan etc. I liked roona Liela though much more. We had three bedrooms. One room was dedicated for my uncle one for parents and we all of us lived in one big room which we also used for family room.

I used to sleep beside my younger brother (6 years younger to me) and beside him was my younger sister 3 years younger to me and on the other side was my sister Khadijah who as I already indicated was just one year younger to me.

But during the winters we used to have what we called Sandali. It was a square table on which we put a huge Iranian mad blanket and under the table was a dim bulb that gave very calm heat and around the sandali we used to sleep stretching our feet towards the table and our heads towards the walls. This used to be a lot of fun when I used to be very young but now it was just a comfortable and warm place to have a good night sleep. Once the lights were off, we all went to bed and woke up the next morning. In the nights sometimes our feet touched since all feet where almost under this small table. We used to have fund feet fighting and laughed but it was very normal. One winter just as normal as it could be, we all were under the sandali and every one went to sleep. In the middle of night I woke up to drink some water and when I returned since the room was very dark. I found my place and creped in. As I lifted up my side of the blanket, I saw the bulb under the table so bright. Normally it was not that bright because when we went to bed the main bulb l in the room was so bright that this tiny bulb was like a dead one. But now in the middle of the night and sleepy eyes just came back from drinking water shone so bright that I could see all four people’s feet clearly. I almost put my head on the pillow when something came to my mind. I lifted up slowly the blanked towards the table while my whole body was under it and saw Kamiah’s feet crossing the half of the table. She used to sleep next to me under the sandali but since she was on the next part of the squared table, she was far from me. Just imagine how far we were if four people sleep while only their feet meet. You have it, our heard where about 2 meters away.

But what I saw was her salwar pulled up beyond her knees and this got me into some heart beats. I have seen them all like that before we used to go to Hanna Udak (a steamy valley in Baluchistan few KMtrs from Quetta) We all used to pull our salwars to enjoy the flow of snow melt cold and drinkable water in the river. But tonight was different. I don’t know why and I don’t know why and why I wanted to see her legs more. I was shaking and my mouth was dried for some odd reasons. I pulled my head back from beneath the table and reached my pillow and tried very hard to sleep. Did I do something wrong? I started reciting prayers. It did give me comfort as I asked for forgiveness from Allah. It was early morning mom was calling us; “Subah Bakair” (Good morning), wake up it is late. The ever sweet voice of mother. I went to school earlier that day and I was filling guilty thinking about what happened to me last night. I honestly could not focus much on anything in the class. I came home later. I was a bit silent on things at home. Mom asked me if I was ok. Just a little tired mom. In the evening we ate food and it was what we call it tarkari, nice lamb with potatoes and naan. I just could not stop myself from the corner of eyes looking at Khadijah as if it was the first time seeing her in my life. I had a heart beat and all kind of things were roaming my head. It was another night. Dad was as usual listening to radio BBC and I tried listen on my Aiwa transistor some music. So the hour came when everyone goes to bed again. Sandali was made ready already by mom. Mom and Dad went to their room and we all kids rounded around usual sandali. Just those kiddy plays and talks and some tea around and finally the lights were off and we all went to bed.

All this time I was just thinking about only one thing. What about tonight? Why am I so curious? No, I am not going to be silly again. It is wrong to see my sister’s legs. She is my sister for God’s sake. But no, the more I thought of not bothering myself with what happened last night, the more I was curious. Should I or should I not? I could not sleep while others were sharp sleep. It could have been around mid-night or so when I finally gave up and wanted to see again by crawling deeper. I slowly but carefully tried to seep the other way round. My feet were on pillow and my head was buried under the sandali (table). I could see Khdejah’s feet It was almost like yesterday. I looked around and others were likewise. It was normal because they pushed their feet under and the result, walwar bottoms would go up a bit. I came back to as I would normally sleep. But I tried to sleep a bit closer on the right side where Khadijah’s head was distanced about 2 meters or so. Pretending to be asleep, I rolled myself towards Khadijah even when I really did not wanted this. I don’t know why all of this was happening. I slowly moved my feet and put my right food above Khadijah’s legs. I was shaking and it was sort the first time that I realized my penis is getting hard. I did not move myself and put my legs just like that for another half hour or so. I was tense, I was scared, I was questioning myself at times; “Or you stupid? she is my sister?” but again something else’s was getting better of me. It was my youthfulness. It was wrong, It was taboo, it was against my religion but besides these, it was against my controls and that was grabbing my whole.

Seeing her and others fully sleep, I move a bit more towards Khadijah very carefully moving my leg away and now sleeping on my face by moving deeper under the sandali (table) but on the correct position as if rolled away while sleeping by pretending every move I had. slowly but careful I move my hand on her tummy. I kept my had there without any other moves for few minutes. Now slowly again I moved upwards and my hand was now just above Khadijah’s breasts. Probably for the first time I realized that I have crossed the lines now beyond what a brother’s relationship is. I realized that I have stepped into another world. A world in which there is pleasures beyond thinking but a world very dangerous at the same time. What if my sister wakes up. What she will do? What if she tells to Mom and Dad? all these things were coming to my mind and a fear of all fears went through my body and I was sweating. Probably I had the worst heart beats ever in my life. I started consoling myself and came to my senses that my hand is still on my sister’s right breast. Her breast was going up and down with every breath as she was in the dreamland unaware of all the things cocked without her knowledge.

Probably few hours passed when she moved. I got so scared but I gathered all my courage to pretend as if I was just in deep sleep and it was just an accidental move of my hand on her. I was as if snoring. Yes, she woke up. She realized a hand on her. She very slowly took my hand as I play dead. She move my hand down on the mattress. I don’t know what else happened but I was so scared that I did not move anything more. The next thing, I was hearing mom calling us to wake up. As I woke up I saw that Khadijah was already gone out of the room and was with Mom. A sudden fear again started a heart beat in me and I started thinking is she going to tell mom or she will believe my not so innocence act as innocence? When I went out of the room I washed my face. Mom said, “you did not get up for namaz son?” Mom, sorry I was so badly sleepy. I saw from the corner of my eyes and oh no, Khadijah was looking too. She quickly looked towards Mom. Does she know that I purposely put my hand on her breast? What is she thinking. I pretended as if nothing is wrong but things were surely wrong. I was not looking to my sister as my sister only but as my sister whom I have touched differently. Yes differently. I spoke to her as usual as if I knew nothing. It was Sunday and in those days Sunday used to be Holliday in Pakistan. It was much later when they changed it to Friday according to Islamic Shariah. At the dastarkhwan (breakfast) I told Mom that I will be gone for the day with friends and will come late home. “Be careful son don’t come too late.” Right Mom and I left home for the day.

When I returned home that night it was already late. I ate food outside. I ate some chholay and some pakodas down the street. When I came others were already planning to sleep. Mom said; “you came late son.” Sorry Mom, I was with friends. She called for Khadijah to bring food but I told her that I have eaten food. Went to the room Dad was already in his room and mom headed that way too. I went to our room where the two youngest were already fast asleep since they have to go to school. Khadijah was awake. I went slipped myself under the Sandali. Our feet met accidentally and we both looked at each other. “Your feet are so cold” said Khadijah. Yes it is cold out there. She wanted to move her feet when I said “please don’t move it is so warm.” She just like a good sister obeyed and put her feet again on my feet. Well, I got to sleep it is late and we have to be at school in the morning. Shab ba-khair (Good night). I know I said good night but I was in no mood to sleep. She switched the lights off and stretched again her feet and I just kept my feet quickly towards her side. She wanted to move away and I objected no please it is cold, let it be there for some more time. She said ok, ok. I moved my feet away and told her, ok let you be comfortable silly. We laughed. A lot of things were going on in my mind and I was getting again heart beats. I was thinking of how I should plan things that should not ruin things but make progress to lead her slowly to do the same thing. But again, she is a girl from a Muslim family and that too a very staunch. She used to perform all the namaz (5 time prayers) and keep other things religious. But something got me somehow out of the way a bit by now and I was thinking of many things including sin against Allah and Jahanum and what if being caught and what if she will start hating me and what if this and what if that. While thinking all of this probably an hour or so passed and I heard her mild sleeping breathe and she was indeed sound a sleep.

Ok, I said to myself, should I do or not? After many minutes of thinking about last night I got some courage and rolled myself towards her as if it is sleeping turn and I put one of my legs between her legs in such a way that it fall above her knees and closer to somewhere the whole last day I planned to do this night. And at the same time I put my hand on her chest too. I parlayed dead and yes she did wake up because she tried to move. I pretended deep sleep. She moved slowly my hand away from her but she was not able to move my leg away from between her legs. A huge heart bean fallen on me and I was scared but played dead asleep. I wanted her to understand that it was an accident and I was unaware of this. Probably she believed me after few minutes of moving her head here and there. She still could not move my leg away. I started snoring louder so that she is fully believes me that I was a sleep. She lay quiet but I did not know if she was a sleep not or not. Suddenly something came to my mind and it was a tricky one. I pretended to be sleep talking very mildly so that only she can hear. I move my hand back to her chest while mumbling something un-understandable as if someone speaks in sleep. I heard there are people who talk while they sleep and tried to play it now. Here I am waiting to see what she does now? She responded by trying to move my hands again when she heard me saying; “Nargis, Nargis, Nargis” Nargis was the neighbors daughter and I actually never had any crash on her. She was not someone that ever I thought about. She was not pretty and she was just very homely girl. At this point Khadijah stopped moving my hand and with a lot of scare and fear I got the courage to move into the next step. I slowing started rubbing Khadijah’s right boob while repeating Nargis, Nargis slowly but in a way that as if I am dreaming about Nargis and that I am actually deep asleep. Khadijah was for sure not sleep since I could feel her very heavy heart-beat and breath. I realized that she knew that I was dreaming about other girl and that because I was a sleep I did not intentionally put my hand on her and rubbing her breast but that it was purely accidental and un-conscious of the real world.